Useless Information
by KuroiNekoKitto
Summary: Heero and Duo have been together for a long time. Heero gets Duo a book and frustration follows. Fluff! 1x2 Heero POV/OOCish R&R!


Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or the G-boys. It's all for my own amusement and for anyone else who enjoys it. I also do not own any mentioned copy righted books or items named in this fic. All respectively referenced at bottom. Honestly, I don't own anything in the world, so don't jump on me about anything.

Notes: This story is Heero's POV. Heero is a little OOC

Warning: Sap sappy sap sap, Shounen-ai, 1x2 and you may die from useless knowledge overload.

* * *

I regret the moment that I walked into that damned book store. I had initially stopped in to check if they had the in depth manual for trouble shooting my seven year old laptop. Usually I would have no problem fixing it without any assistance, human or not, but I think my beloved is just about ready to bite the dust and I was hoping there was something I didn't know that could possibly revive it. I guess having it running at all hours of the day contributed to it's being hardly functional but I digress.

So, back to my current dislike of this visit to the book store. After half an hour of searching with no luck, I reluctantly started to walk out of said store empty handed until my attention was caught by a green and blue book staring directly at me. I suppose living with my braided lover for so long has brought out the curiosity in me. Giving in to the urge to find out about this book, I wandered over, picking it up and reading the title.

'This Book... Of More Perfectly Useless Information'... Interesting title. As I flipped through the pages, all I could think about was how much Duo would like this book. Being together for the past three years, I would like to think I've gotten to know all his likes and dislikes pretty well. I contemplated getting it for a few minutes. Seeing as I did enter the store determined to leave with something, I decided 'Hey, why not?' and bought it. Little did I know that this book would be the cause of my current frustration.

"Hey Heero! Did you know that human birth control pills also work on Gorillas? Talk about evolution. You would think because they're not technically humans that it'd be all wonky for them. If we ever decided they needed to go extinct, we can just have them pop pills!"

I looked at him for about the fifteenth time in the past hour with the same expression of 'did I really need to know that?' on my face. He merely smiled and continued rotting his brain with the book I had supplied. Honestly, I don't know what the fascination with it is. I could live perfectly fine without knowing that a group of twelve or more cows is called a flink. Why not just call it a shit load of cows?

As Duo was reading his book, his body stretched along the couch, I decided to be productive. I walked to my room seeking out my laptop, finding it where it always was, lying quietly on my desk. I unplugged the power cord hearing a small 'wiir' noise indicating that it shut down and proceeded to take my laptop into the living room where there was better lighting. Did I mention that it didn't take too kindly to being unplugged? If it's unplugged from the wall for more than two seconds, it's rendered useless.

I grabbed my small bag of tools for such delicate work as I was about to do. Damn tiny tools and tiny screws.

As I set my self up I heard Duo make a noise of either excitement or disbelief. I can never tell the difference between the two with him. It mostly just sounded like an intake of air.

"This book says that beer is made out of bacteria poo!"

I raise an eyebrow. Was he serious?

"What do you mean?" Sorry to say, but curiosity was eating at me again. If the beer I had every once in a blue moon was made out of some microscopic excrement, I would like to know. The thought made my skin crawl.

He shoved the book in my face, "Look! Right here! It says 'Beer is made by fermentation caused by bacteria feeding on yeast cells and then defecating.' I don't think I'll ever look at a beer the same way again" His lips curled into a pitiful frown. I know he tried to go for a disapproving expression, but it came off more as 'that's nasty but I'm going to have a beer in a few minutes anyway.'

I shoved the book aside.

"Duo, really? Do you not see me about to work on something here?" I turned my back to him, my brow furrowed as I started to take apart my laptop. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head and I'm pretty sure he was sticking his tongue out at me. He knew me better than to take my reaction too seriously.

We sat silently for a while. Myself, sitting on the floor at the coffee table working diligently on my laptop, which seemed to be futile; and Duo still on the couch behind me reading his book. I was thankful that he had stopped quoting and commenting on the book, but I knew it wasn't going to last.

"Hey 'Ro"

I know him too well. With a sigh I glance at him.

"Do you think someone with hippopoypmonstrosesquippedaliophobia would die if they ever had to say that word?"

He lost me, "What?"

"Hippo-poyp-monstros-es-quipped-alio-phobia!"

As if trying to pronounce it slowly was going to help me understand what he was talking about.

"Duo, that doesn't explain anything. What is this 'hippo-pop-culture-aphobia'?" I don't know how he was able to pronounce the word in the first place, but I knew for a fact that I could not repeat it and wasn't really worried about trying. He chuckled at my obvious mess up with the name.

"It's a fear of long words Ro. That's so ironic though. Why in the world would you make a word so long for people that are scared of it?"

I sighed, "I don't know Duo. For the amusement of people like you?"

Just then I must have done something wrong because a loud snap was heard, followed by an immense pain on the back of my hand. It seems that while talking to Duo, I had not been paying much attention to my other task. I somehow managed to fully break my laptop and a part of it had snapped on my hand leaving a very red mark. Letting out a string of curses, I stood and flinging the damn piece of junk across the living room.

The pain subsiding in my hand, I slumped back to the floor. A few moments had passed in silence and I was starting to calm down from my little tantrum. I knew that Duo had been watching me the whole time. He was never really sure of what to do at times like this. Normally he would end up making a really stupid joke.

"Hey Ro... I have one more"

I looked at him expectantly and a bit irritated, waiting for him to say something along the lines of 'female lions do ninety percent of the hunting' or that 'the giant crickets of Africa enjoy eating human hair.'

He smiled sweetly and leaned in close to me. Our eyes locked. Damn that man for never ceasing to take my breath away!

"Did you know that I love you?"

Now that was a bit of information I would never deem useless.

~Owari~

* * *

Useless facts and information taken from angelfire. com/ca6/uselessfacts and pmbc. com/fact (Sorry, I'm having trouble with the full URL showing once I save)

"This book... Of More Perfectly Useless Information" By Mitchell Symons

I've never read the book and some of the information may or may not be true. It doesn't matter though because it's all for the sake of the story.

I hope everyone enjoyed this little fic. I think I kind of got writers block on my other stories. This one just really got me going and hopefully we will be seeing the next chapters to Let you Know and Familiar Stranger. Thanks guys!


End file.
